Diet vs. Destiny

Image of woman measuring her waist

Lose 10 pounds in 10 days—without ever feeling hungry!
Eat all the chocolate you want and lose weight!
Trim your waist without exercise!

What does a diet promise to be?  A diet is a quick fix.  A diet is a one-size-fits-all solution that promises to be fast, easy and solve all of your problems.  A diet is what a person is looking for when they say, “If only I could lose 10 pounds, I would fit into that dress and everything in my life would be perfect.”

Just like that dieter, often a parent initially seeks out coaching when they are deep in the weeds.  They are struggling and overwhelmed.  Frequently, in their initial conversation with the coach they say that they want to be told what to do, to be given the secret, the quick fix.  “If only my children would behave, everything would run smoothly and my life would be perfect.”

Through the PCI program we learn that genuine support of parents is not offering that quick fix.  That fad diet might let you lose 10 pounds quickly, but you will surely yo-yo back in the near future.  In the same way, it doesn’t support parents to offer one-size-fits-all quick tips to ‘fix’ behavioral concerns they see at home.  Instead, through the PCI parent coaching program we offer parents a powerful process that creates lasting results.

As a PCI parent coach I work with my clients through the four D’s of the Appreciative Inquiry process:

  • Discovery
  • Dream
  • Design
  • Destiny

In the Discovery phase I work with a client to seek out strengths and supports that exist in their life. Next, I encourage the client to Dream. Together we clarify this dream and really dig down into what the client wants to create in her life. Then we Design concrete action steps to take toward that goal—that powerful and unique dream that the client is creating.

Finally, I work with the client in the Destiny phase. In this phase the client begins to see the dream coming into reality. The client looks both backward and forward at her parenting. She identifies and acknowledges the strengths and supports that she called upon in order to make this preferred future a reality. She looks forward with the knowledge that she can use these same strengths and this process again and again as she moves through the next stages of her parenting life. She recognizes the deep changes that have come into her life. She finds evidence that the dream is emerging and acceptance that deep change is now a part of who she is. In the Destiny phase, the parent allows new growth to come into her life. This growth may be complex, it may be different than she expected, but she is able during this phase to find the evidence that this growth is her dream emerging.

The client has made life changes. The dream becomes reality and the client discovers that the initial, identified problem may not have been ‘fixed’ in way that she had anticipated.

Imagine that dieter who renounces fad diets and instead commits to deep life change. This person may discover that the ‘fix’ may not have been just to lose those pounds. She may create something much more powerful and long-lasting; a lifestyle in which she is energetic, healthy and confident.

A client who takes the deep dive into the PCI Coaching Model™ using an Appreciative Inquiry process moves past wanting those quick-fixes and easy parenting tips. In the Destiny phase, she may discover that though she initially just wanted ‘to make the children behave’ instead she has created a home filled with harmony, love and mutual respect.

PCI parent coaches don’t offer our clients a diet that will produce quick results without lasting change. We join our clients on a powerful journey toward their Destiny.

Dana AllaraCopyright 2015 Dana Allara, all rights reserved. Used with Permission. Please visit Dana’s Web site for more informative and inspiring blogs:

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I found the PCI course to be well researched and put together. I learned so much through the course, the reading materials and the interactions that I had with PCI instructors. It has been an incredibly enriching experience completing this course.
Laura MarkowitzCape Town, South Africa

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