“Mom, I’m hungry”
“Mom, I’m bored.”
“Mom, I like playing with you. “
“Mom, I love you.”
Most of the time I love hearing the word “mom,” “mommy” or my favorite, “mama” come out of their mouths. The word sums up my most important calling and reminds me how blessed I am by the boy speaking it.
But sometimes “mom” is the last word I want to hear because of what follows. The winey voice grates on my nerves, the endless demands fill me with exhaustion, and I begin to parent from a battle-weary place.
“Mom, only make me food I like! I won’t eat THAT!”
“Mom, its not fair. You can’t make me put my clothes away.”
“Mom, I won’t go grocery shopping with you”
“Mom, he hit me.”
“Mom, I want that toy.”
Rather than thriving, I am barely just surviving. It’s as if I’ve fallen into a deep, dark pit and I can’t find my way out.
About a month ago, I found myself stuck at the bottom of the parenting pit. I saw it and, honestly, my gut reaction was to say to myself, “Suck it up Hannah. This is your job. After all, you are a parent education expert. You can figure this out. You don’t need help.” But then I was struck by the truth of what I do as PCI Certified Parent Coach®.
It is not my knowledge of parenting and child development that offer the greatest benefit to my clients but rather the listening with intention, asking questions to shift focus, and offering observations that bring meaningful change from a big-picture, neutral perspective.
So I reached out and asked for help. In asking for help I was reminded that the act of reaching out and asking for support is powerful. It is not saying I’m a bad parent but rather it says, “this is a tough job and I need support to do it well.”
I was privileged to have my friend and fellow PCI coach, Patricia Barros, do that for me. During our hour conversation, Patricia listened to me from the bottom of my parenting pit. Then she gently and beautifully guided me out with her questions and observations of strength in me and in my son that I could not see from inside the pit. I walked back into parenting refreshed, excited, and with tools that were specific to my children, our needs, and me.
So, why do we all need a PCI parent coach? We need a coach to show us the way out of the deep dark hole of survival parenting out to the light, beauty and grace of intentional parenting. The only way out of the pit is with the help of a rope or ladder and the best place to get those tools is from someone who can see the entire picture from above. From my experience both personally and professionally, one of the best places to receive that is from a PCI Parent Coach.